Selective Play

This weekend I took a trip out to Vegas for the Dave Matthews Band show and figured I couldn't NOT play poker while I was in town.  I am on a very tight budget right now. Obviously, no longer having a job doesn't really leave me with much money for a bankroll.. actually none. I'm in the red each month with just my regular bills. I really needed to be selective with what I was going to play because I really didn't have much cash.

Considering my game options and what I like to play...

Small buy in tournaments with short blind levels were out right away. I've done this before and it's not worth it.. the play is all over the place and time goes so fast.. and you start with barely any chips so it's just a mess.

Now cash... well I really have less than $200 to put in a cash game. Eh.. It's really not my favorite. I really like tournaments..

The decision.. Caesars 12pm daily tournament. $125+10 one time add on at buy in.. total chips 7500. 30 min levels. Antes at 2nd 600-1200 level.

I played here last trip and was really comfortable with the players and liked the room and the structure of this tournament. I did well last time but made a poorly timed move. Could use a redo here.. but this will probably be all I play since I only play sober and planned on drinking for the concert.

Tournament started with 47 players. A low turnout compared to last time of 180. But last time I played in this one it was a Thursday.  The average player seemed weak and easy to read. I played patient.. and I hit a great spot. The player to my left was and older gentlemen: loud, fun, novice and from the mid-west. He chatted it up with the players at the table.. I was in a hand in late position with A-6.  I usually don't play many A-rags but I was 1 off the button, blinds 50-100, I limped and then the SB raised to 250 and BB and a middle position called the extra 150.. I call and the button (the older gentlemen) called. There's 1250 in the pot now. The flop Ac-As-3s. It checks around to me and I check.. then the older gentlemen bets 1000. SB(original better) calls and I call. Button give a "Hm" to the calls on his bet. I'm stressed about my kicker since the SB called.. I watched him.. I couldn't figure him out yet. Turn.. 7h. SB checks. I bet 2000 into a 4250 pot. Little small for a possible flush draw. Older gentlemen calls. SB gives it up. Now I am thinking I'm out kicked. (I can be so negative). River... Jd. Flush misses.. I check thinking he'll check back (hopefully) or he'll value bet the A and it'll be cheap since he might put me on the busted flush now.. He thinks for a bit (which seemed a little weird if he had an A).. and then goes all in. I think for a bit, single stack and pick up my chips and look at him. He's staring right at the pot. Very different from his baseline- happy/comedian guy.. and now he's not talkative at all.. not the same guy... So.. I call pretty easily.. wrong means out but I'm confident.. and I'm right. He shows down a busted flush. I become and early chip leader and am up to 22800 at the 1st break... leaving older gentlemen with only 700.. He, however, turns that around quickly with his wild play.

A little later in the tournament I knock someone out with a really ugly hand.

I have AA and raise to 1200 (blinds are 200-400) from middle position. UTG calls, who had limped, and everyone else folds. The flop is 9-8-Q rainbow. UTG looks at his chips and acts weak and then checks.. hmm.. well, I have a lot of chips so I bet 3000. He goes all in for 1900 more. I call and hope he's just on a nice looking draw.. Q-J maybe.. He shows J-10. He flopped a straight. I take the felt and say nice hand.. but then a 9 comes on the turn.. and another 9 on the river.. runner runner full house. Damn that's rough for him.. and poker. Love it. Hate it.. Love it.. on that hand.

I build up my chips to a healthy 38000 later on.. down to 3 tables. I lose 1/3rd with AA again to flopped trips. Bummer.. but I hang on for the final table.. I make it in with 6th place chips.. and 6 pay. Also, 2 are college friends and 2 others are father-daughter from Europe.. definitely soft play between these players. Another player is the older gentlemen who some how made it in with a nice stack and again is to my left.  9th is out right away. There's another woman who is the short stack now and playing very very tight. Then there is the fact that no one is really pushing around chips... and taking a lead.. Finally, short stack lady goes all in and I call with 88.. everyone else folds. She shows A3 off. I sigh and wait for the flop. All low.. so far so good.. Turn.. A.. my heart sinks.. she had a 12% chance to hit that card.. river blank.. she wins. I'm left with 2200. I double up quickly with K-7.. Yay! haha.. Then I get A-6 suited and go all in.. A nice guy (one of the college buddies) was in the BB and called with K-6. It was only like 2400 more for him to call at this point. He said.. I'm hoping this will double you up.. Good intentions, I believed since we had been playing earlier and I doubled him when he was short. Flop.. Q-K-K... yeah that's it for me.. wow. That was rough those last 2 hands..

Worst part.. out in 8th and top 6 paid.. damn so close. I was happy with my play and I love to play though so for that the 7 hours wasn't for nothing.

Emotionless Losses

Having no emotional attachment to losses helps to guard against risky decision making. We need to feel better about recooping money lost and are more willing to gamble and take chances.
Using emotions as a short cut to rational thinking is dangerous.

How many times have I thought.. I should cut my losses and leave now.. But the thought of leaving down was such a negative feeling.. My mind chose to gamble in a risky situation in hopes of winning a big pot and getting even or even leaving up.. But lost it all instead.. Or even worse... Won.. And since I was back in it and feeling great kept playing until I found myself in the same situation.. Only more fatigued and less rational.. Inevitabley doomed to go bust and walk away with nothing.

This is something I struggle with when I play cash games.



-- Post From My iPhone

Listening To That Voice That Won't Shut Up

I arrived at Commerce yesterday at about 2:30pm. I figured I was close by so there was no harm in sitting down for a few hours of cash. Of course, I knew that meant a good block of time because I would need to wait out the traffic that was forming from 4pm-8pm. But.. why not? I've got a strong urge to play today.

I'm seated and a new game is beginning. I love when this happens because we all start with the same amount of chips.. despite Commerce's terrible rule of a max buy in capped at 20x the big blind in mid to low stakes.

Early on, I'm in a small pot where I'm leading out betting a bit above the min. I have 6-2 off. The flop is K-3-4.. turn..6.. river 5. Seat 5 is smooth calling me until the river. He reraises me.. Something is telling me my 2 is no good and he made a higher straight.. he totally has a 7. For some reason I just can't call here.. when that 5 came out, I knew. I fold showing the 2 face up. Seat 5 does a double take and wide-eyed he shows his 7 and collects the pot. "Good fold.." he says.. I can't explain how I really knew his reraise was genuine.. my gut knew. We had just sat and this was an early hand so I didn't have much info on his body language but there must have been something familiar about his reaction to that 5 and following it up with a bet.

Another hand I found really interesting was when I got inside my opponent's head.. so much so that after the hand there was a physical release by way of a sigh and fall of the shoulders and back by my opponent. I call a min raise with A-J off in the small blind. We are heads up in the pot and I check blind. The flop is Q-10-3 with 2 diamonds. He bets the min again. I quickly call and check blind again. The turn is a meaningless 7. He bets 4 after a little thought and I call. The river is a 5 of diamonds. I go right for my chips and look at his.. he picks his up as if he's ready to instantly call my bet or go all in.. he doesn't have that much left but enough that it'd be a decent bet into the pot. I know this is a defensive move.. he is trying to intimidate me by giving false information.. that he'd insta-call my bet or as if his chips are going in the pot and that's that.. It almost always means he's really weak or scared.. and by his bets on each street.. I know he has no confidence in his hand. I ask, "How much do you have left?". He lifts his hands upward showing everything remaining in both hands.. I estimate and bet out about what he has.. He insta-folds JJ face up... sighs.. and his body collapses back into his chair. I just knew I could out play him in this hand.. He never bet his hand with any confidence.. he must really hate Jacks (don't we all?).

UTG, I look down at AA. I bet out my standard raise for this game. I am called by a newcomer to the table. He is still waiting for his chips.. joined the table with a gentlemen he knew next to him.. and is chatty. Seat 5 (another new guy) calls on the button.. the blinds fold. The flop 8-7-3 rainbow. New guy in seat 7 bets out a little more than pot.. seat 5 goes all in. I struggle with a decision.. right after seat 7 bets out.. he shows his cards to his friend next to him.. at this moment I know for sure he has 8-7. There's every reason for him to be in this pot with that hand.. and seat 5.. he could easily have flopped trip 3's.. What to do... well, because I ignored the voice that won't shut up.. I go all in. Seat 7 calls.. and shows 8-7.. seat 5.. shows 4-5. Turn.. is a 6. Seat 5 hits his gut shot straight and wins the whole pot. Uh!! Why didn't I listen to myself.. Why do I hold AA so high when the flop comes out.. it's just a pair at this point..

Well.. I took my last wrinkled up sad looking bill out of my pocket.. handed it to the dealer and asked to buy back in short.. for my big come back. The table laughed.. but I needed a come back. I played so well and then ignored my gut. The next hand I tripled up with 6-6.. the next hand after that, I won a big pot with K-K. I made the come back and was back.. I played for 6 hours yesterday.. my brain was done. I was so tired... so I came home and played a quick tournament online. lost (when will I learn?)... and crashed.

Happy Friday.. It is Friday, right?

Days of the week don't mean anything to me.. wait I take that back. I hate weekends now. They are busy with all the suckers with jobs crowding the places I like (or need) to go to.. I try to take care of my day to day stuff during the week and not during rush hour traffic times to avoid this nonsense. This is going to be a bit of a venting rant.. sorry. You've been warned now.

I find it really hard to wake up each day motivated. I'm depressed. Mainly about money because it prevents me from doing things I need to do (haircut, pay bills) and things I want to do (buy new shoes- wait that might be bordering on need at this point.... or play more poker).  I'm exhausted already at the 15 hour a day attempts to be productive in a way that will hopefully yield some dough I can live on. Unemployment is generous I have to admit- compared to other states.. However, it has to be because of the cost of living. My bimonthly checks from the state are barely covering rent, car payment, car insurance and gas.. that's about it. It's a shame that still leaves me with electric, food, my cell phone, credit card debt.. and any other expenses that come up.. I needed an oil change yesterday and I will soon need new break pads.. YAY! It's really hard. Each month I have to find a way to make up the other half of my salary I had grown into over the last 8 years. This isn't a whoa-is-me post by any means.. it's a fact. My day to day is burdened with the stress of how can I make some extra cash.. Can't pick up a min wage job or anything.. anything on the books will come out of my unemployment. I don't live with anyone so the bills are completely my responsibility... And I've given up on the idea that the cats were going to be famous in commercials. They apparently just want to sleep all day.. ha. don't we all.

Well, that brings me to poker.. I can't play enough right now to balance out the variance. My bankroll is my grocery money.. I lose and I can't buy food. Not good. I can't drive the 30-40 mins (no traffic) to Commerce or the Bike and play... and lose.. and drive all the way back. I can play online but it's not the same. I play better live. I try to play as much as I can afford and I am continuing to be a student of the game, reading.. and studying up... but it's hard. I feel like that's where the cash is for me but I can't get enough just yet.

Other ventures I have going are creative.. I have 3 projects I am working on and they exhaust me. The pay out on these is not immediate and not guaranteed either. It's hard to stay positive and motivated everyday when there's no guarantee there will be a pay off. I can be as proud and happy with my work all I want but that's not bringing in any extra cash.. One of these ideas is really good (ha. I feel like right now) and I think it could really lead to something big.. but it's going to cost a bit of an investment (cash) and tons of my time. I'm not giving up though.. this is where the 15 hours a day is coming into play. I swear I'm the hardest working unemployed person out there.

To wake up everyday motivated is really hard. I get in an hour of exercise everyday and make sure I spend time outside, as well to keep me going. Days like Friday, I tend to wake up depressed. I work 7 days a week.. and on those Saturdays and Sundays I avoid people and places because of the crowds.. I also avoid my old work friends now too. I can't stand to hear about the old job and other things.. like.. "oh, my god, I'm so broke right now".. really, dude? I'm unemployed.. crossing my fingers I can cover the rent this month. It's a shame too. I was friends with a lot of the people I worked with... I moved to LA (and California) with no friends or family here so those people I worked with were my friends and support. It's a shame when something like getting laid off happens.. because then you see who was really a friend... and they are few.

Today is a rough day. They certainly aren't fun and care-free days as an unemployed lady. Just trying to find the motivation everyday and the solutions to my struggles to try to make each day enjoyable and productive.

A post from the iPhone

Testing out how blogging from my phone feels.. Seems ok but I'm really used to the keypad.. Oh and it rotates. Nice
Just played some online.. Cash was a disaster and tourneys worked out. Except for that horrible river card I keep seeing in my head.

Well I need sleep.. It's all I got right now.. And I know as soon as I get into bed my cats will retire to their comfortable spots.. One happens to share my pillow.. So I don't want to keep them up any longer.


-- Post From My iPhone

Creatively Frustrated and Tired

I have taken a little time off from poker... well.. 3 full days off this week. I won online and then lost a little in a manic frenzy. My head has not been in it this week for a few reasons. I've been stressing over money.. to be expected. I was mad at myself for my bad luck last weekend in Rincon.. and I always torture myself with the... "Well, if I didn't play I could have bought this.. or paid for that.. which I so desperately need." I love playing.. I feel like I play well and my stats are average to good.. BUT.. I live off the money I win or lose. It's taken me a long time to separate myself from the money and the game in order to play with a clear head.. but even with the unemployment pressure I do well at that while I play.. it's after the game that I beat myself up over my losses.

The good news is that I have been crazy creative this week. I've got 3 projects going: my photography (GrapeSpace), jewelry (DigUnderRocks) and a mystery project that I will be wrapping up this week.. All on Etsy.com I'm very excited about these things because my other passion (after poker) is my art and design.. so the work I do makes me proud and I completely love what I do.. after all, it kinda was what I used to do for a living.. and I was good at it. This helps me not put pressure on my poker game and relaxes me....

I've been reading "How We Decide" the psychology book on decision making.  It really is great to read about how the mind works and how it applies to people in tough situations.. like athletes and pilots. Poker players are discussed later in the book. All the ideas discussed really apply.. like how after studying and working in a situation over and over again the mind takes in all the info and processes it so that when those game time decisions need to be made you really need to trust your gut or feelings.. because your mind knows.. it's been recording stats so you don't have to analyze the variables in those super time sensitive situations.. just get a feeling for what's right.  If you over think it.. you'll think yourself into the wrong answer.

As of today.. I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing and relax.. because I'm over thinking and making myself crazy.

Ladies Tournaments: Terrible Yet Tempting

Saturday I woke up early to drive down to Harrah's Rincon for the WSOP Circuit Ladies Event.. $125 buy in. I was running late, as usual, however, this time my apartment was inside out because my carpet was cleaned the evening before.. I was anxious because I wasn't feeling too well and knew there was a 2.5 hour drive a head..

Ladies tournaments are not my favorite.. I feel like I'm going to do really well.. and I have cashed in a good number of these events. The thing is.. the play is not great early on and a lot of opportunities open up to get unlucky. Also, women are chatty.. and I don't tend to get a long with a lot of other women and I'm certainly not all that chatty at the poker table. I like to play against men because I feel like I can manipulate and read them better. Well.. I'm feeling good about my skills these days so I'm pretty excited to play..

We arrive down in Rincon with an extra hour. I wasn't actually late.. So I register and relax with my turkey sandwich before going in.. Once seated I observe a relaxed and passive table. The usual ladies chat at the table with the dealer.. There are 170 total players in the tournament and it seems the majority of my table is either from San Diego or even more local to the casino.. which seems to be in the middle of no where to me.

Early on I'm taking small pots.. then just when I realize I need a bathroom break I look down and see 1 A... next card around.. AA.. I stay and bet out 400 in early position.  I am reraised to 1000 right away by one of the only semi-aggressive players at the table. It folds around to me and decide to put her all in for her last 3K. She says "what the hell?" and calls. The cards are on their backs to reveal that I'm dominating her pocket 10s. The flop brings all low cards and she taps the table in an early "good hand".  The turn shows what my negative head was warning me about.. a 10. The river nothing. She beats me. I'm left with about 2500 of the original starting stack of 6K. I know I'm done. I've fought a short stack before but this will be trouble. These women are unpredictably terrible. If only I used the restroom and never peaked at my 1st hole card......

I survive a few blind steals with my short stack.. and then I look down at pocket 8s.  I'm all in 1 off the button.. it folds to the big blind. A former short stack who had just doubled up when she joined out table. She looks down and thinks for a bit.. and says "favorite hand". That's bad news.. they always call and they suck out with the worst hand every time. She calls off half her stack.. and shows A-9 suited.  Figures. One of the worst A-x starting hands.. but it's suited!! And I'm feelin lucky with my favorite hand! Can't you just hear it?? The flop comes out all blanks.. and she taps the table. She's rooting for me. Then the 9 hits the turn and she says "You're still good".. um. thanks but that gives you a higher pair.. remember.. favorite hand? River is a blank and I'm out. 2 hours 45 mins.

I walk out defeated and repeating over and over to myself... "I hate ladies tournaments... hate them"

"Do you want to go to the beach?"

"Yes"

Off to La Jolla for the rest of the day...