Creatively Frustrated and Tired

I have taken a little time off from poker... well.. 3 full days off this week. I won online and then lost a little in a manic frenzy. My head has not been in it this week for a few reasons. I've been stressing over money.. to be expected. I was mad at myself for my bad luck last weekend in Rincon.. and I always torture myself with the... "Well, if I didn't play I could have bought this.. or paid for that.. which I so desperately need." I love playing.. I feel like I play well and my stats are average to good.. BUT.. I live off the money I win or lose. It's taken me a long time to separate myself from the money and the game in order to play with a clear head.. but even with the unemployment pressure I do well at that while I play.. it's after the game that I beat myself up over my losses.

The good news is that I have been crazy creative this week. I've got 3 projects going: my photography (GrapeSpace), jewelry (DigUnderRocks) and a mystery project that I will be wrapping up this week.. All on Etsy.com I'm very excited about these things because my other passion (after poker) is my art and design.. so the work I do makes me proud and I completely love what I do.. after all, it kinda was what I used to do for a living.. and I was good at it. This helps me not put pressure on my poker game and relaxes me....

I've been reading "How We Decide" the psychology book on decision making.  It really is great to read about how the mind works and how it applies to people in tough situations.. like athletes and pilots. Poker players are discussed later in the book. All the ideas discussed really apply.. like how after studying and working in a situation over and over again the mind takes in all the info and processes it so that when those game time decisions need to be made you really need to trust your gut or feelings.. because your mind knows.. it's been recording stats so you don't have to analyze the variables in those super time sensitive situations.. just get a feeling for what's right.  If you over think it.. you'll think yourself into the wrong answer.

As of today.. I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing and relax.. because I'm over thinking and making myself crazy.